One Act Plays
My name is Maximus Flavius Maximus. My job: Private Detective. My status: Single. But that don't mean I ain't lookin; you could say that I'm a Roman Eye. The story I'm going to tell you happened on a day just like any other day.  In other words: quiet. It's March in the year 44 BC and I've not had a decent case since 51. If business doesn't pick up soon I might end up working until the early 30s or even late 20s. Boy do I wish that the years went forwards instead of backwards. Who invented this crazy system? And what the heck is BC?

So begins the Tip of my Toga, a play inspired by a radio sketch by Wayne & Schuster. A Sam Sapde type private detective is hired to investigate the murder of Julius Caesar. My is Brutus acting so shifty. What is Caesar's widow doing in a bar? Why does everyone have New York accents? It's a job for Maximus Flavius Maximus

A meeting room, a flip chart, an enthusiastic facilitator, and four employees who are determined to give her a hard time. This is the background to Mission Impossible, a hilarious look at the corporate nonsense that anyone who has ever attended a team bonding session will know only too well. Ice Breakers and silly games do little to bond this team as the beleaguered facilitator gets tough to ensure that she gets the outcome she desires.

Call Girls is set in a call centre providing IT assistance to an unspecified company. Three of the women get on well together and ‘have a laugh’ but for the last six months their happy little group has been spoiled by the presence of Laura, an arrogant and aloof troublemaker whose predilection for short skirts and low cut tops probably has more to do with her getting the job than any particular work skills.

Thankfully this is Laura’s last week and the others decide not to let her go without letting her know exactly what they think of her. Surprisingly it is Mary, normally the quietist member of the group, who really lets rip but  this uncharacteristic outburst could be the biggest mistake of her life.
Alice is a retired English teacher who is living a comfortable if rather lonely existence. A chance encounter with her neighbour’s daughter re-awakens her passion to teach when she discovers that most unusual of things. A pupil who wants to learn!

An unlikely friendship develops when an joint appreciation of internal rhymes, whether by Philip Larkin or Eminem, reveals that the pair have more in common than one might imagine.

With a respectful nod to ‘Educating Rita’ this is a story of how a generation gap is easily bridged through the discovery of a mutual interest. All scenes are set in Alice’s living room which has minimal set requirements.

Thank you for that warm reception, and a particular thank you to Pat for inviting me to adjudicate at this festival. I am a local lad. In fact, it is on this very stage that I made my acting début. I remember it as if it were yesterday: a school production of Peer Gynt and I was determined to get the lead. Every night I lay in my bed with a torch under the covers and read and re-read the script from start to finish.

I put all of my heart in to that audition but the day turned out to be one which I look back on as a character building day rather than a happy one: I didn't get the part.

Sadly, for me anyway, the honour of playing the lead role went to Frank Whittington, a popular boy in the same year as me. Young Frank was well known and well liked throughout the school as was his father, Mr Whittington, a teacher at the school: the drama teacher, in fact, and the director of that school production of Peer Gynt.

So begins The Adjudication. Before very long it is revealled that said Frank Whittington is the director of the play currently being adjudicated. Oh, how revenge is sweet!

The Adjudication is a short monologue written for a male actor but could be adapted for a female without too much difficulty.

A merchant arrives in town with a sorry tale. Years ago he was shipwrecked and survived by clinging to the mast with one of his daughters and a slave.

His wife was rescued together with their other daughter and their slave but the two parties became separated and haven't seen each other since.

His daughter, now grown up, set off with her slave to find her sister and the merchant has followed her to this town. Both the sisters and their slaves are twins and, now that they are all in the same town, it isn't long before confusion reigns supreme.

Written entirely in verse and using rhymes good, bad and appalling, this sparkling adaptation of Shakespeare's A Comedy of Errors reverses the genders of the main characters.

With a running time of around twenty minutes is perfect for a young cast of six girls and two boys.

I Gave You My Heart is a teenage romantic comedy for two girls. Kate has broken up with her boyfriend telling her younger sister, Jenny, that he is just 'too weird - a freak'.

What worries her is message that has appeared on her facebook wall, apparently from him, that states 'I gave you my heart' and how that might relate to a parcel that she has just received from him in the post!

This short play is an exploration of squabbling siblings with equal measures of suspense and comedy and a satisfying twist at the end.

The country is in ruin. Sick of corrupt politicians the population has revolted but it turned to anarchy and now everything is breaking down. Dog is a manipulative dealer with a plan to turns things round but his motives are unclear and he cannot do it without the respectable looking Candidate on his side. Meanwhile Sweet Thing is an awful reminder of what people have become.

David Bowie originally planned an album based around the George Orwell book 1984 but was unable to get permission. The Diamond Dogs LP was his own version of the Orwellian concept. This play is inspired by Bowie's imagery, the songs on the LP and the lyrics to the songs Candidate and Sweet Thing.

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